Monthly Archives: March 2012

Friday night, today I’ve been pretty relaxed but I’ve been kind depressed. A good thing is that I finally got the freedom to go anywhere, anytime. Now I can just say; nope, I don’t wanna be here right now, and … Continue reading →

Friday morning. I’ve slept pretty okay actually, or not okay but a long time at least. Today I’m not feeling as fucked as I’ve been the rest of the week. I had a dream, or it was a very short … Continue reading →

The clock is almost 1 am, and I’m gonna try and get some sleep soon. I haven’t been as tense today, not like the last 3 days. And I’ve realized that everything comes and goes but then comes back again … Continue reading →

Today, I’m so not here, here where I’m supposed to be. Or I’m here but I’m not here here, you know? It’s like I’m traveling from this real world to someplace else. It happens all of a sudden, I’m here … Continue reading →

Came just home from school and realized that I need to do so much shit today, and feeling so fucked, I’m so tired but my body isn’t and really takes away my strength, so I don’t really wanna do anything … Continue reading →

Wednesday morning, feeling pretty tired, but my body is not that tense. It’s funny how your muscles can ache when you haven’t even worked out. I’m hoping that I can stay relaxed today, so that I can be normal when … Continue reading →

So last night… I don’t really know what to write about it. We went out for a walk, first we talked about just some random things, and we had so fun that I almost didn’t talk about the serious stuff. … Continue reading →

Okay, now, it’s gonna happen, we’re going to talk, or She doesn’t know that, but I’m gonna talk. So we’ll see if my life becomes better, stays the same or goes downhill. I’m so scared things will fuck up, and … Continue reading →

Okay, I wasn’t that calm today at all. My heart rate was(is) very high and my whole body has been tense all day. And people are really worried about me. A friend, who has helped me a lot, said that … Continue reading →

This weekend has been hellish. We’ve been touring with the school on this choirthing, and we’ve visited some churches, and there has been lots of people in them, and lots of people means you need to smile a lot. So … Continue reading →

Lots of thoughts and moods today, the whole day has been the weirdest. But now after a walk in the snowy weather, I’m gonna try to sleep a bit now and pray for things to turn right.

Saturday morning, I’ve slept pretty okay, but I’ve had many many thoughts head about pretty much everything. I’ve been thinking about how the fuck am I supposed to get over this, it feels so huge, and I just feel like … Continue reading →

Friday night, I was just and ate with my parents and my brothers, and it was kind of fun to see all of them at the same time. But I got these fucking feelings again, in the middle of eating, … Continue reading →

I’m still very confused about the meeting I had, the person gave me so much to think about, I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know what to say. But I know what’s wrong, I think. I just … Continue reading →

Whoa! that’s all I can say; whoa! So I went and talked to this person, and we came up with lots of interesting and a bit scary things, but not nearly as scary as I thought they would be. So … Continue reading →

I’m really nervous and scared to go talking.. What if it turns out that I have something real, something huge. And I’m really scared that I’m gonna have to let you go, if things aren’t going the way I’d like. … Continue reading →

Today I woke and my head was so heavy, I wonder if it’s possible to think so much that your head is so messed up that it can’t keep up with everything anymore. So, Thursday today, and I’m gonna go … Continue reading →

FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!!!!!! I should really need to talk to You, but I’m way too scared. I’m so fucking scared that I will fuck things up again. Things are so good between You and me, and I’d hate for it to be … Continue reading →

I actually think that I slept good last night, about 4-5 hours. Today there’s a lot I need to have done so I hope I get something else to think about than the bad thoughts in my head. Anyway, tomorrow … Continue reading →

the clock is about 01:30 am, I came home about 1 o’clock from my walk. There was a lot of thinking but I don’t think I came up with any good solution to my problem…Now I’m gonna try to get … Continue reading →

I was right! Today was an okay day. I was tired and wanted to go somewhere else, but I managed to keep some of the worst thoughts away. But still, the more I think about You and me, the more … Continue reading →

Today feels like an okay day, I’m still pretty tired but my head doesn’t feel that messed up. I don’t feel that happy though, but I’m sure I’ll laugh and smile anyway, but it might not be real. Today I … Continue reading →

Just got home from school, today was a very weird day, I don’t know in how many different moods I’ve been in today already, and they change so fast too, so fast that it’s almost scary. Today I told You … Continue reading →

Now it’s Monday again, I’ve slept about 3 and a half hours, and I’m not int the mood for school today, I’m really not. I’m tired and I feel a bit pissed and I don’t know why. Soon all the … Continue reading →

Today has been an okay day, not good but not too bad. School starts in six hours, that means I should try and get some sleep. I really hope this week will be a lot better than last week, I … Continue reading →

The two last nights I’ve been sleeping quite okay, not good but okay. I’ve slept for a long time but not that good, and I’m guessing the alcohol might have had an effect on the sleeping. These last two days … Continue reading →

I didn’t write that much yesterday ’cause I didn’t find any words to say. But today I’m almost kinda happy, and I think that’s good. But I’m still not happy, I don’t laugh nearly as much as I did a … Continue reading →

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face … Continue reading →

So now it’s Friday, I’ve slept the best I’ve slept week this last night, but I’m still tired as shit. I  always have very mixed up feelings about Friday. It’s good that I get to go home and think of … Continue reading →

It’s funny how You make me feel. It’s funny how You make me smile just by looking at me. How You always make me happier just by being You. I love it how You with every word You say lift … Continue reading →

Today I’ve been totally lost, I’ve been tired and my head has been all messed up. And right now I’d just like to get up and go, don’t where but I don’t wanna be here, ’cause I sometimes get so … Continue reading →

Come here, please hold my hand Lord now Help me, I’m scared please show me how to fight this, God has a master plan and I guess I am in His demand Please save me, this time I cannot run … Continue reading →

Today has been almost an okay day, I’ve been very tired but me head hasn’t been as messed up as the past two days, and that’s good. But right now I really don’t know what I should do, and that’s … Continue reading →

Today, I’m tired as shit. It’s a good thing I don’t have a very long school day. It’s kinda funny, how people avoid you when you’re depressed, not all of them but some of ‘em. Right now I’d really like … Continue reading →

Today I’ve been thinking veryveryvery much and I came up with some pretty fucked up shit. What if I’m just faking everything? What if I just don’t wanna sleep well? What if I’m sad and depressed because I want to? … Continue reading →

…that used to make me happy don’t make me happy anymore, and I hate it! Mostly, I get happy for like a couple of seconds but then my head says ‘You’re not happy, you’re sad and depressed’ and then I … Continue reading →

Okay, I’ve been trying to stay positive but it just ain’t working so good, It just feels like my head is about to explode into a million pieces… I’ve tried to laugh, but it doesn’t feel right. Right now I’d … Continue reading →

Okay, after about three hours of sleep it’s time for school again… YAY!!! and no less than eight hours of school. But today I’m gonna change my attitude (at least try) so that it won’t be as it was yesterday, … Continue reading →

So I got a chance to be alone for a while, it was about 1 am and thought, ‘Well, I’m not gonna get any sleep anyway’, so I went for a walk to try and clear out my head. And … Continue reading →

Now it’s almost 9 o’clock and I can just say one thing; Fuck Monday!!!! Fuck this fucking shit day!!! Today I’ve been so fucked on the inside that I can’t even believe it myself. I’ve been trying to smile, laugh … Continue reading →

Jealousy… Now that’s a BITCH!!! It’s probably one of the most unnecessary feelings in the world!! I hate that feeling!! And it’s one of those feelings that are hard to get rid of!! And if I start thinking something like … Continue reading →

Monday, they used to be one of the best days, but not today, today I just want this Monday to end.. Everybody is so, I don’t know smiling and laughing, and I try to tag along but it doesn’t feel … Continue reading →

You’re always on my mind I think of the way you laugh You always bring me around Even when I don’t want to You make me forget about About everything that troubles me You take me to a place A … Continue reading →

School starts in about 7 hours, so that means I can sleep for a long time, if I could sleep that is.. Anyway, today has been a quite okay day actually. But tomorrow, I have to put this mask again, … Continue reading →

So I’m out walking with my friend (girl) in the city, you know just talking about stuff. And then of course I see You, but I look the other way hoping you might not have noticed me, but I’m pretty … Continue reading →

Last night was okay, there was a lot of laughing and smiling, but still that’s not way it’s on the inside.. But it was so fun seeing these friends that I haven’t seen in a while so. But it’s strange … Continue reading →

I really don’t like being here, it’s way too quiet and there’s not much to do. And when it’s quiet around me, my thoughts take over, and I don’t like it, because my thoughts aren’t usually the great ones, they’re … Continue reading →

Hi there! This is my very first blog, I thought it would be good idea to have a place where I could write down all of my thoughts and that kinda shit so there will be lots of random stuff … Continue reading →